I’ve been watching too much TV lately.
Actually, I am pretty sure I simply, straight out, no BS about it, watch too much TV all the time.
But lately, I’ve come to notice something. I know it is cliche, but the old adage of “fads will come and go” truly is ringing home in my mind recently. In my extensive research of watching too much television, I have come to several personal conclusions, each of which I am now personally prepared to address.
- If I see another group perform the Harlem Shuffle, I’m going to snap.
- If someone plays that Taylor Swift song again, I’m going to sue the record companies.
- If another high school aged girl drags her UGG boots on the concrete while walking by, I am going to scream “PICK UP YOUR FRIGGIN’ FEET!!!”
- I am truly a grump old ass.
#1, Dance crazes.
Wasn’t it just recently that every youtube video was featuring a group of some sort performing to “Call Me Maybe” in various vans, courts, church gatherings, etc?? Now it appears to be the Harlem Shuffle. All I can say is thank God that youtube wasn’t around when The Hustle, Saturday Night Fever, or frigging line dancing was at its height. Think of all the horrid recapturing of memories associated with flair jeans that would have resurfaced to deter all of our entry into public office.
The Macarena brought every left footed dork to the dance floor, convincing himself that he finally had the moves to hit on Sue from Accounting.
Achy Breaky Heart made mullets popular. For one day.
All I’m saying here, is that in ten years, we will have plenty of blackmail material on the “Shufflers” out there…
#2, REALLY bad songs that won’t leave your brain.
I’m going to start this one out with a question… Remember Rick Dees? Disco Duck?
Everyone alive in the 70’s owes humanity an apology. No, really.
Call Me Maybe is a horrid piece of lyrical train wreck, but it has nothing on the song talking about leaving a cake out in the rain, never having the recipe again. Admit it.
These songs, like all, will pass, only to be replaced by something else that, when heard for the five thousandth time, can only be extracted from your brain with a power drill and ice cream scoop.
#3, Fashion F-Ups. As a parent, I have to say that kids are going to like stuff you don’t. Sometimes, they might even like some of your stuff (my kid used to be into Converse Chuck Taylor Low Tops, I was so proud). But there is one thing that is for sure, to have a girl in the equation, that just compounds the problem to the verge of global meltdown.
I have come to realize that for (the average amount of) women, shoes are more important that oxygen. When I buy shoes, they are mainly for comfort, with some style thrown in so nobody stares at my white legs.
Girls, however, take this up a notch. The shoes are spendy, and they are many. The UGG boots thing (especially with a skirt, WTF?) is out of control. I should have bought stock years ago.
My main problem is the inability for the young ladies to actually walk in them. Try this sometime… Go to a high school, and listen. Outside of the multiple uses of the word “like” you will hear a constant rhythm. The scraping of $150.00 rubber soled boots on concrete. It is quite hypnotic. It is like Morse Code, calling you to lobotomize yourself.
At least in my day, we didn’t fall victim to those idiotic fashion fads…
Or I will, at least.